The Early Bird Chronicle (Kresi: Kronika Rane Ptice), often simply referred to as The Bird, is a weekly satirical newspaper and literary journal based in Ravna Skrad (District VII).
It is the only widely circulated publication in the Divine Republic that is dedicated primarily to humor, fiction, and political satire. While officially an independent outlet operating under a “Entertainment License” from the Council for Education, it is frequently subjected to censorship, seizures, and temporary bans for crossing the line into “anti-Republican sentiment.”
Despite its location in the provinces, the Chronicle maintains a small bureau in Sinj and is widely read by the capital’s political and business elite. It is famous for its biting comic strips, its celebrity gossip column “Whispers on the Kambel,” and for publishing the serialized novels of the dissident author Osman Hamzic.
The paper’s most prestigious feature is the Literary Supplement, curated by the renowned novelist Osman Hamzic. Following the banning of his novel The Empty Altar in 2009, the Chronicle became Hamzic’s primary outlet, publishing his serialized fiction and essays that critique the absurdity of life under the KresiX regime.
The paper’s survival in the face of constant censorship attempts is largely due to the legal protection provided by Republic For All. The charity frequently represents the paper’s editors and cartoonists in the Inferior Tribunal, preventing the Media Licensing Authority from shutting down the publication through excessive fines.
History
Foundation (1975)
The paper was founded in 1975 during the relatively stable leadership of Ante Brov. Its founders were a group of disillusioned journalists from the Kresimirian Herald who sought an outlet for stories that the state sensors would not approve. They chose Ravna Skrad as their base due to its distance from the CIA headquarters in Sinj and its reputation as a “bellwether” district open to diverse viewpoints.
The Sanjakorin Era (1980s–1990s)
The paper rose to national prominence in the 1980s by mocking the austerity and greyness of Ljubo Sanjakorin’s statist economy. It introduced its mascot, Piero the Sparrow, a cynical, chain-smoking bird who offered dry commentary on bread lines and the National Grain Trust.
In 1994, the paper was banned for three months after publishing a caricature of Sanjakorin as a “Rust King” sitting on a throne of scrap metal. The ban only increased its circulation via underground distribution networks.
The Modern Era (2000s–Present)
In the 21st century, the Chronicle has pivoted to targeting the tech-oligarchy. It is one of the few outlets that dares to mock Ari Stov, often portraying him as a robot or a puppet of YakaSys.
Despite the 2015 Digital Vigilance Act, the paper remains primarily a print publication. This analog format has ironically protected it from digital surveillance; while Northfocus sites are blocked by the Divine Firewall, physical copies of The Bird are passed hand-to-hand in cafes across the Republic.
Content and Sections
Piero’s Perch (Comic Strip)
The front-page comic strip featuring Piero the Sparrow. It usually depicts a satirical take on the week’s top story from the Assembly. A famous recurring gag involves Piero trying to fly over the Vjetar Dam but hitting a “Bureaucracy Forcefield.”
The Shadow Cabinet
A column of fake news stories that satirize government incompetence. It is often so close to reality that the Herald has occasionally had to issue denials of Chronicle fabrications.
Whispers on the Kambel
A celebrity gossip section that pushes the boundaries of the Republic’s privacy laws. It is the primary source of public rumors regarding the alleged relationship between Lana B and Ari Stov, often using code names (e.g., “The Songbird and the System Administrator”) to avoid libel suits.
The Literary Supplement
The back pages are dedicated to fiction and poetry. This section is curated by Osman Hamzic, the renowned novelist. Since Hamzic’s books are frequently banned, the Chronicle serializes his work in short installments, making the newspaper a collector’s item for literary enthusiasts.
Readership
The Chronicle has a unique demographic.
- The Opposition: It is a favorite of CRF and Northern Power voters for its anti-government stance.
- The Establishment: Surprisingly, it is also popular among Blue Dawn senators and the businessmen of STP Credit. In the absence of a free press, the Chronicle’s satire is often viewed by insiders as the only place to find “the real news” about who is falling out of favor in the Chancellory. Bran Maj is rumored to have a subscription, reportedly enjoying the cartoons that mock his rival, Ari Stov.
Notable Bans and Controversies
- The “Empty Altar” Incident (2009): The paper published an excerpt from Osman Hamzic’s banned novel The Empty Altar. The Council for Education seized the entire print run and fined the editor, Zahir Balic, for “blasphemy.”
- The Earthquake Edition (2014): Following the Sprodvice Earthquakes, the paper ran a cover consisting of a solid black page with the single headline: “Waiting for Sinj.” The issue was banned in District X for “inciting unrest,” but copies were smuggled in by BLF aid workers.
- The YakaSys Leak (2018): The paper published a satirical “advertisement” for a YakaPhone that listed “Spy on your neighbors” as a feature. YakaSys threatened a lawsuit, but dropped it to avoid the Streisand effect.